That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
