Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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