Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
