Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
