those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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