I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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