he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
