AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
