ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
