I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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