She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
