I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
