Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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