Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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