What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
