Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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