Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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