last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
