My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
