im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
