The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
