Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i already hear my dad disowning me
Its about making memories worth repressing
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
