Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We left an ass print on the piano.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
