You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
