Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
