some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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