Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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