I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize