Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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