I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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