Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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