oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
