I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
