Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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