After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
