i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
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