Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Please, let me fuck your mom
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
