Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
