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Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
