I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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