No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize