I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
