On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
