some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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