you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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