so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
