my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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