pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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