Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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