No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
