I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
