I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize