remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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