dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize