yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
