do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
