screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
