maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
