mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
