girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
