Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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