Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
