I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm too high and old for this...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize