is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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