Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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