She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
