Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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