im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
