He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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