So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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