I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
