Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
