i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
