Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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